So... I watched video after video about weight loss, then somehow I drifted into watching videos about anorexia. I think the videos about anorexia kind of changed my mind, but it hasnt taken the hurt away. I still feel the same about how I look. I actually cried a little when I got dressed this morning. When I tried on a pair of jeans and when they didnt fit, I shattered. I put on a pair of red skinny jeans instead and hated what saw. I gave up, resulting in putting on my horse-riding jeans. They are very unflattering, but I didnt have to feel self-conscious at least.
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